Too Comfortable

Mike "The Situation" from the Jersey Shore recently broke up with his girlfriend of like...a couple days. The problem was that once they made it official, she lost her filter. She started talking about gross stuff and burping and doing generally unattractive things. Mike lost his attraction to her and ended it. If you want to see a clip of it here it is: Mike the Situation is embarrassed by his girlfriend.

In my last post I was just talking about masks. In dating, you need to take off your mask and be yourself so your date can get to know you. There is an opposite end which is problematic too. You can get too comfortable and too open. Take farting, it isn't attractive and your date doesn't want to witness you do it. 

People get upset over this and say "well am I supposed to be a fake, perfect toy doll all the time?" This is extreme. Another reaction is that people think they can't be themselves and feel restricted. What do you think? You have a huge burp building in your throat. Do you release it with joy and expect your partner to accept it because it's accepting you as a person? Or do you silence it because you want to stay attractive to that person? 

I say balance is always healthy. I burp like crazy. I burp all the time. I burped around the guys I was dating. I burped all the time when I was dating my husband and I still burp. But if my husband said to me "Jessica, your burping is disgusting and I would like if you would stop" it would be hard but I would stop. Fortunately, he truthfully doesn't care and he would burp too.

But you can't let everything go! There is a flip side to this. In marriage, you need to keep a certain amount of sacredness for lack of a better word. Take this guy and the 16 ways he blew his marriage. He says to not poop in front of your spouse, it's just unattractive. Keep your spark alive by taking care of yourself, working to build and keep attraction in your relationship, and censor some damaging behaviors. 

You're thinking, I"M SINGLE! What does this have to do with me? I get it, this is irrelevant. Well, dating is the time to practice these skills! Don't just wait till your married to start trying to figure this out. If you respect your marriage, you show it by not letting yourself go (so to speak). You work on yourself just as you work on your relationship.